The Hidden Power of Unfulfilled Dreams: Transforming Disappointment into Leadership Stories

There’s a peculiar ache in the dreams that never came true.

We tend to celebrate fulfilled dreams—the achievements, milestones, and finish lines. But if you ask me, there can be just as much power, resonance, and human truth in the dreams we left behind.

A Childhood Dream—and a Pivot

I once wanted to be a ballerina.

Every Saturday morning for a year, I sat cross-legged on the floor watching my cousin’s ballet class and then I went home to practice in front of a mirror. I did this for one year. When I finally stepped into my own ballet shoes, I felt like I had arrived. I carried them in a red bag with an ink stain. I tied the ribbons just right every time, and felt so very proud.

I danced for years until we moved to a new city.

At the audition near our new home, the teacher took one look at me and said,

“You’ll never be a ballerina—you’re too tall.”

I was 14 and 177 cm tall.

Just like that, the dream evaporated. Or did it?

Photo by Elena Kloppenburg on Unsplash

A similar story shaped my path as a pianist. We didn’t own a piano, so I used a keyboard made out of cardboard and practiced daily for a year - yes, on cardboard. A different dream, but the same determination.

I realized something: it was never just about the dream. It was about the trying with what ever tools I had access to. It was about my dreams and determination.

And those stories—the cardboard piano and the watch-and-learn-year—are more powerful than the goal. I am neither a ballerina nor a pianist. I am more.

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The Neuroscience of Unfinished Business

Psychologists call it the Zeigarnik Effect—our minds cling to incomplete tasks and unresolved goals. These “unfinished” stories remain active in our consciousness. And the big question is - what is the narrative that you repeat in your head or share with others. They carry emotional weight. And these emotions impact our bodies, minds and even others. And when we share these stories, they can create an immediate, authentic connection.

As leaders, our unfulfilled dreams aren’t just personal memories. They are communication tools—rich with insight, vulnerability, and wisdom.

They remind us:

• What it means to want something sincerely.

• What it feels like to be dismissed, redirected, or told “no.”

• What it takes to rise again and reimagine the future.

We are often so focused on the end goal or the result that we miss out on the “side” stories that may actually be the main stage. The journey often matters more than the destination.

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What This Means for Leadership and Communication

If you lead people in any context, these stories matter more than you think.

1. They humanize you.

People don’t connect to perfection. They connect to the pursuit.

When you share what didn’t happen, you show that strength lies in learning, adapting, and continuing.

2. They spark creativity.

Constraints often unlock innovation. Practising piano on cardboard wasn’t ideal, but it was inventive and full of determination. That’s the creative energy today’s leaders need: resourceful, imaginative, and empowering.

3. They build trust.

Vulnerability creates psychological safety. Teams take more risks when they know their leader sees failure not as weakness but as a source of wisdom and insight.

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Try This: A Storytelling Reflection

Think of a dream you once held that didn’t come true. Write it down.

What did you learn in the process of pursuing it?

What values, strengths, or skills emerged from that experience?

Now ask:

How can I share this story to inspire trust, creativity, or resilience in myself and others?

Takeaways for Communicators and Leaders

1. Don’t hide your unfinished stories—they make you credible.

2. Creativity often begins where perfection ends.

3. Great leadership storytelling isn’t about flawless wins but honest growth.

   
   

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So, the next time you step into a keynote, a cocktail party, or a workshop -

Don’t open with your biggest win.

Start with a dream that shaped you. One that didn’t go as planned left you stronger, wiser, and more human.

Ooooh… feels like a new story brewing.

Because often, that’s where the real story begins.