top of page
Search

Letting Go of 94%: How Reframing Fear Unlocks Your Authentic Power

Writer's picture: Liza EngelLiza Engel

The Silent Standard That Shaped Me


For most of my life, I lived by an unspoken rule: 94% was the threshold for being good enough. Anything below? A failure.


I don’t remember exactly when it started. Maybe it was the gold stars on school assignments, the quiet weight of expectation, or the belief that excellence wasn’t just a goal—it was a necessity. I never questioned it. I worked hard, hit benchmarks, and convinced myself that success meant maintaining this impossible standard.


But here’s what I couldn’t see back then: this all-or-nothing mindset wasn’t making me better—it was holding me back. When you live by a rule like that, there’s no room for mistakes, growth, or simply being human.

 
Photo by Milad Fakurian on Unsplash
Photo by Milad Fakurian on Unsplash

The Illusion of Perfection


At first, this mindset felt like a strength. In my career, I pushed for excellence. In my personal life, I worked to prove that you could do it all. As a working mom in Switzerland, I felt I needed to show up flawlessly—to prove that balance, ambition, and effortless success could coexist.


But motherhood doesn’t fit neatly into a 94% framework. You can’t schedule perfection. Not when there are sleepless nights, endless questions, and tiny humans with different KPIs.


And yet, I still held onto that expectation—for years.


It took three children and more than a decade to let go truly—not in one grand epiphany, but gradually—through exhaustion, self-reflection, and, ultimately, the realization that pretending it was easy wasn’t serving anyone.


The moment it clicked? Returning to work after my third child. I was done with the act. Done with the polished version of “doing it all.” And something unexpected happened: the more I embraced my authenticity, the more I connected with others.

 

Rewriting the Fear Narrative


Fear—especially the fear of not being good enough—is deeply wired into us. It triggers the amygdala, activating stress responses that keep us clinging to old patterns.


But here’s the good news: Storytelling can rewire fear-based thinking.


Changing the stories we tell ourselves reshapes how our brains perceive risk, success, and identity. Instead of seeing failure as a personal flaw, we can recognize it as part of the process.

 

Think about it: What stories are you still holding onto?


For years, I believed I had to be 94% perfect to be worthy. Then I rewrote that story. Life isn’t about right or wrong, success or failure—it’s about possibilities. It’s about learning, adapting, and growing in ways numbers can’t measure.


That’s the role model I want to be—for myself, my children, and anyone stuck in the perfection trap.


 

How to Reframe Fear and Embrace Your Authentic Self


If you’ve been living by an invisible benchmark—one that keeps you stuck in perfectionism or fear—here’s how you can start rewriting your own story:


1. Identify Your “94% Rule”

  • What unrealistic standard have you been holding yourself to?

  • Where did this belief come from? Is it serving you?


2. Challenge the Narrative

  • Write down your fear-based belief (e.g., If I’m not perfect, I’ll fail).

  • Reframe it with a new perspective (Progress matters more than perfection).

  • Find real-life proof where being flexible or imperfect led to a positive outcome.


3. Expand Your Thinking Beyond Right vs. Wrong

  • When faced with a challenge, resist the urge to see it as black-and-white.

  • Instead, list at least three possible outcomes—this shifts your brain into problem-solving mode rather than fear mode.


4. Create a Symbolic Shift

  • Take one action that represents letting go—whether delegating a task, showing up authentically in a meeting, or embracing your natural beauty.

 

The Freedom of Letting Go


I’ve permitted myself to stop chasing 94%. And in doing so, I’ve gained something far more significant: the freedom to define success on my terms and the ability to reach completely new levels of growth. This is also resilience.


So, I’ll leave you with this: What story are you ready to rewrite?

  1. What invisible rules have shaped your leadership—and are they helping or holding you back?

  2. When did you let go of control last, and something unexpected but positive happened?

  3. If you could redefine success based on what truly matters to you, what would change?

5 views0 comments

Comments


STAY IN THE KNOW

Thanks for submitting!

bottom of page