How I Quit Complaining and Reclaimed My Power as a Leader
- Liza Engel
- Jul 7
- 2 min read
My Wake-Up Call Came From My Voice
It was an ordinary Tuesday—emails, coffee, back-to-back meetings. And yet, I suddenly heard myself in the middle of a routine conversation. Not just the words, but the tone. Negative. Flat. Defeated.
“I sound so… uninspiring.”
That moment stopped me cold. Somewhere along the way, I had slid into the role of a frustrated commentator, critiquing from the sidelines instead of leading from the front. I was reacting, not creating. Complaining, not catalyzing.
And the worst part? I had done it out loud.
In that moment I was a title leader, but I wasn’t owning my space. That realization hit hard—but it was also the shift I needed.
It was time to have a conversation with myself.
“You are a change-maker,” I told myself. “So start acting like one.”
The Turnaround: From Complaining to Creating
So—what next?
I didn’t fire off a strategy memo or book a dozen ‘fix-it’ meetings. I paused. And I asked myself one simple question:
What is already working? Starting with three things.
To my surprise, the list came easily:
My team was delivering.
No one was really complaining—except me.
I had strong, trusted relationships.
These weren’t just silver linings. They were solid foundations. I had stopped noticing them.
So instead of amplifying what was broken, I decided to double down on what was already strong.
Three Micro-Moves to Reclaim Your Power
If you’re caught in a loop of low energy or quiet frustration, try these:
Interrupt the complaint. The moment you hear yourself moan or blame, pause. Ask: “Is this true? Is this statement helpful?”
Name three things going right. This isn’t toxic positivity—it’s mental training. Write them down. Say them out loud. You’re reprogramming your mindset and modeling it for others.
Take one small, generous action. Send a thank-you note, celebrate a tiny win, or invite a teammate to lunch. Micro-moments create macro-shifts.
The trick? Don’t wait for motivation. Start with momentum.
Why It Works
It shifts your energy. Positive focus isn’t fluffy—it’s contagious. When you lift the tone, your team rises with it.
It restores your agency. You go from reactive to intentional. From feeling stuck to choosing your next move.
It rewires your leadership language. And language, over time, shapes culture.
Mini-Challenge for Leaders: The Head-to-Heart Pause
Try this simple reset:
Catch yourself in a moment of complaint.
Stop the spiral.
Write down one thing that is working.
Take one small action to reinforce it.
Then check in with yourself: Has your energy shifted? Are people responding differently?
You are the author of your leadership story. Even in hard times, you hold the pen. The words you speak—to yourself and others—can either drain or direct.
So choose a language that leads.
Choose momentum over moaning.
And when in doubt, stand up, and remind yourself who you are.
You are a change-maker.
This was such a thoughtful and powerful read. I really appreciate how honestly you unpacked the habit of complaining—not to judge it, but to understand what’s underneath it. That shift you describe, from reacting to leading with intention, is so simple on the surface and yet incredibly deep in practice. It’s encouraging to see how reclaiming your power started with small, conscious choices rather than some dramatic overhaul. Thanks for showing that leadership isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present and accountable. Really inspiring.